12 Tips for a Clean Home (the Lazy Way)

Turns out the hardest part of making a blog post is writing the introduction. I should have figured. In school I’d always write the body then the conclusion, then finally I’d write the introduction. Same with blog posts I guess so here is your bad introduction.

Here are some tips I use to keep my home tidy and clean.

3 Lazy Tips for a Clean Home
1) if it takes less than a minute or two, do it right away
2) never leave a room empty handed, never go up or down the stairs without returning something
3) make your bed

3 Slightly Less Lazy  Tips
1) Make a to-do list
2) Do one 10minute declutter/cleaning session per day
3) Accomplish one thing on your to do list

3 Regular Tips for a Clean Home
1) Have weekly chores (or daily ones)
2) Have a designated place for everything in your home, and return things to their spots when done with them
3) Multi task some small things- stuff in the oven? Clean the kitchen while waiting, commercial break? Fold some shirts. Microwaving something? Wipe down the counters or take out the trash

3 Hard Tips for a clean home:
1) Declutter/have less stuff
2) Spring clean/deep clean 2x/year
3) Host parties once a month. It’ll force you to clean so you can impress your guests

How to Look Productive (Even When You Are Not)

If you are a procrastinator (like me) and are lucky enough to be a housewife (or sole person home all day), you may find yourself with about ten minutes before hubby gets home and not a thing to show for having been home all day…after all, those video games were very entertaining all day and it’s only now, as he’s driving home, that you realize how lazy you actually are. While you know the truth, let’s try a few things to make it seem like you were busy and productive all day long.

  • Make the bed. Seriously, it makes the room feel so much cleaner and with a nice comforter, it only takes about two minutes to do.
  • Make piles -laundry piles or dishes piles. Put them in the hamper or dishwasher
  • Clear the counters. Quickly wipe the crumbs into your hand or the sink or even onto the floor. Put dishes in the dishwasher or stack nicely to the side of the sink
  • Have a fresh scent in the house – whether through candles, wax warmers, diffusers, or good food on the stove, making the house smell fresh tricks the brain into thinking it’s actually cleaner than it is. I prefer wax warmers myself.
  • Get out of your pajamas. Preferably throw on something a bit nicer (something you might have gone out with friends or to the store in) but try to look like you weren’t in your pjs eating chips and losing your 50th game of Mario Maker when he started home. Brush your teeth if you’re greeting someone with a kiss.
  • Take out the trash or any trash and recycling near overflowing. It’s quick it’s easy, it makes it smell cleaner, and who knows when you did it.
  • Throw their favorite drink in the fridge or freezer so it’s cold when they get home (or start a fresh pot of coffee or tea for them).
  • Turn off the tv. Turn off your computer games, your Netflix, possibly even your computer. If they see the tv/computer on, they’re going to see more of the mess because they’ll assume you’ve done nothing all day. It may be true, but shut off the electronics for the fifteen minutes he gets home and he’ll think they’ve been off for longer.

EXTRA TIME? FEELING SURPRISINGLY PRODUCTIVE?

The things above can be done in about 10-15 minutes and should ideally be worked on throughout the day (but we’re procrastinators trying to look productive, right?). If you’ve got extra time and are still feeling productive why not try some of these quick fixes. (In any order, or order of importance to him, don’t waste your precious procrastinating energy on things that won’t have an impact.)

  • Dishes – do the ones that can’t go in the dishwasher. Run the dishwasher if the dinner stuff won’t be able to go in it. Put away dishes that are in the dry rack.
  • Along with the dishes (or separately for all I care) wipe down the counters with a sponge and make the sink look clean. Clean up any major spills on the stove or have them soaking to deal with later on.
  • Start dinner. If you are cooking when he comes in, he’s more likely to forgive a mess…especially if dinner is almost ready and he’s hungry. Even if it’s  just spaghetti, cooking will seem productive. It has the added benefit of the kitchen mess now seeming like a part of your dinner preparations and it’s okay you haven’t gotten there yet, because it looks like you just made the mess.
  • Sweep. Sweep the kitchen, bathroom (the one he uses), and the entry area. Extra extra points for vacuuming (but let’s face it, if you vacuum, you’re no longer a procrastinator, you actually are doing your stuff).
  • Declutter. Take ten minutes to declutter key surfaces focusing on the rooms your partner spends the most time in – the living room for tv and console games, the desks for computer games, and the bedroom nightstands and bathroom counter (not all bathroom counters, just the ones they use). Bonus points for cleaning up some of your area, especially if he’ll see it.
  • Fold and put away laundry. -I don’t mind this one, but I don’t have kids, so it’s easy. Ideally, have a load running in the dryer -seems like you’ve been working at it for a while.
  • Start and make progress on that thing you said you were going to do today. (And find a reason why it was more difficult than expected *wink wink*).

FINALLY:
Most of these things can be done in under an hour but look for the best bang for your buck…I mean time.

The key is to look like you worked all day, or to have them come home and catch you *still* working on stuff. Go ahead and try it.

(The best policy is not to procrastinate and to get your chores and errands done early. These methods will probably only work for two or three sloth days before he notices all the other things not getting done. So use these on those sloth days, but then spend a day or two doing what you’re supposed to do).

(Also, I’m not advocating lying to your partner. I usually tell M how lazy I’ve been. The point is the house doesn’t look like I was lazy.)

What are some ways you fake being productive?

Happy New Year! 2018

Happy New Year! It is with great happiness and anticipation that I ring in the new year full of goals and opportunities. The start of a new month or a new year is always exciting as it is a calendar page without mistakes, without failure, and brimming with possibilities. The past year took me from stay-at-home-fiancé to stay-at-home-wife. It was a year full of ups and downs with me making grand plans to be the perfect housewife multiple times. I even completed a vintage week in an attempt to be “perfect”. The valuable lessons I learned are that I am very lazy and often procrastinate on my chores. I saw this as a failing for a long time. But then I realized, I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be good enough. It’s how I got through college. As long as my husband has food when he gets home most days and the house is fairly clean, I feel like a successful wife.

One of my goals this year (and this month) is to do the 30-day-housewife challenge inspired by Jenbutneverjenn and modified for my life. I have attempted this challenge before and have not gotten very far. However I have fine-tuned the schedule for my own usual routine and have identified the tasks I’ll find most challenging. I will post my own schedule around day four or five of the challenge. Oh and this challenge won’t include weekends. M feels guilty if I clean too much around him on the lazy weekends so I’ll keep weekends minimal and about him.

Edit: Happy Flu Year! While I had tons of goals and motivation to do a great many things this first day or two of the new year, none of them have yet come to pass. This is because everybody in my house got sick all at once. First one roommate, then another, then me. So for the last four days (several of which I was planning to write) it’s been all I could do to stay awake or even sit up. Today I finally feel well enough to sit – or rather, my back hurts with laying down too much. M has been wonderful taking care of me but I’m feeling guilty about all the things I should be doing. I can’t wait to be fully better and get my house back to normal. What I’m saying is right out the gate my blogging plans are on hold. But then, I have been trying to start this blog since November so a couple more days delay isn’t that big of a deal.

My first advice post “How to look productive even when you’re not” will come out later this week. Hope you all have a safe and wonderful new year.

Tell me, what are your 2018 resolutions? Do you believe in making resolutions?